I am sitting here on my bed of reading the second habit of “The seven habits of an effective teenager.” I feel so inspired, if not a little overwhelmed. It gave me a lot to think about. Who I am. What do I stand for. What do I want to be when I grow up. These are hard questions for me to answer. I can be inspired in one moment and then be completely shallow in the next. Of course I shouldn’t expect myself to be inspired and thoughtful all the time; it’s just not practical. But I forget where I’m going, where I want to go. I become numb to emotion and thought. I found a word in my readings that may perfectly describe my situation: apathy. The absence or suppression of emotions. I don’t think I do it purposely but I simply slip into it. Unaware of its numbing effects until I’m on the bed about to go to sleep. It’s as if I need to rediscover myself everyday. This must be ended. I am going to take small steps (because I often bite of more the. I can chew) to change my state of mind. A small evolution. My thoughts will no longer be drowned out by the mechinacations of the modern world.